Unprecedented Opportunities

“Unprecedented” was the foremost adjective for the first half of 2020. And we haven’t even started the second half.

The Covid-19 pandemic moved us to repeat, “I’ve never seen anything like this before” again and again. Around the world people have been locked in quarantine, and restricted in travel. We’ve been required to observe social distancing, record contact tracing, wear masks, and sanitize our hands wherever we went. That’s all new.

Just as some countries have made marked progress in their fight against the virus, George Floyd’s death ignited protests of many kinds along with widespread violence and vandalism. The videos of action related to this event are often tragic and alarming.

These events incite strong and polarizing opinions, cramp our style and frustrate our plans. Yet if all we see are the negatives, we miss a substantial element of God’s work in believers.

While experiences like these may rock our world, God has allowed them for his own purposes. He not only gives Christians the strength to get through these trying times. He gives more. If we will, we can use these events as unprecedented opportunities to shine our light in unusual ways.

How can I shine my light into the darkness? By modeling these qualities:

 Submission to authority.

As I read my Bible, I see God’s command to submit to authority, even when I don’t agree, as long as that authority isn’t asking me to violate God’s standard. (Romans 13:1-7, 1 Timothy 2:1-2, 1 Peter 2:17)

As a Christian leader, when I submit to the government in something that seems unreasonable or silly to me, I model a biblical principle. Every person on earth is under some kind of authority. Christian leaders are not a law unto themselves. If I pick and choose what rules I want to follow, I’ve missed the opportunity to model submission.  All Christians are under authority of some kind. Submission to any rightful authority over me is part of my submission to God.

Patience in dealing with annoying requirements.

Rules about social distancing, masks, hand sanitizers, and the like can be extremely frustrating. Even more so if I don’t believe they are necessary.  It’s easy to lash out at the worker in the store who is enforcing these rules, complain to my friends, or quietly disregard the rules. Week after week of compliance can sorely try my faith — which is precisely how it works for my good. Things that try my faith are a gift from God. These annoyances give me the building blocks to build patience into my life. (James 1:2) That silly, senseless rule that irritates me presents an opportunity to vent my frustration or build my patience. My choice determines if I become better or bitter.

Compassion for those in crisis.

While the pandemic and the protests cause me inconvenience, the same events cause true hardship and crisis in the lives of some people. If God gives the opportunity, I can show his love in a tangible and striking way. I have to look beyond myself to recognize these opportunities. My compassion can bring hope to others and have eternal consequences if I use the opportunities God puts in my path.

Dealing with debatable issues in a respectful way.

We live in the unprecedented age of social media when we can share our opinions with a few clicks of a mouse. Social media stirs our anger and gives us an outlet to vent with an efficiency we wouldn’t have dreamed of a few decades ago. Memes and videos are so tempting to share. They can be a good way to share my opinion about an important issue when I can back it up with the facts. But it’s also easy to share exaggerated and highly emotive posts just because they are funny and they allow me to vent. But consistently dealing with issues and people I disagree with in a respectful way shines a light of integrity into a world that greatly needs it.

Playing fair with the facts.

 Any political event can be shared by various reporters in a way that supports their agenda. Even truthful accounts of an event can be presented in a variety of ways that may make a political figure look brave or cowardly, smart or foolish, nice or mean-spirited. It’s easy to believe the best about the politicians you support and the worst about the ones you don’t. It takes little effort to share reports these days, but it takes real effort to check the facts. Many times it’s impossible to know for sure what the facts are. Posting claims that damage a person’s reputation when we can’t verify the facts is reckless, if not slander. (Proverbs 6:16, 19) We model integrity when we show respect, but also when we resist the temptation to share posts that don’t play fair with the facts.

Peace during uncertain and unprecedented times.

Recently I’ve been listening to the song “My Hope Is Jesus” by Ron Hamilton. The chorus goes like this:

My hope is Jesus – the anchor of my soul,

the ruler of the universe, the One Who’s in control.

He saved me, and He will keep me till the end.

The rock of my salvation – on Christ I will depend.

My hope is Jesus.

Our dark world is desperately in need of hope. Even our churches need Christians whose hope truly is Jesus. 2020 has become a disturbing year in many ways. I can let these troubling events steal my peace, but then I’ve lost the opportunity to model hope. I may not understand what’s going on in my world. I may not have the answers to the problems around me. But when I focus on Christ instead of the tidal waves of current events, I can model unshakable faith.

Submission, patience, compassion, respect, fairness, peace. Our world needs to see these Christian virtues more than ever before. The church needs to see living, breathing models of these virtues. We have opportunities to let our light shine in unprecedented ways. Today. Right where we are.

Let’s take advantage of these opportunities and let our light shine.

Listen to “My Hope is Jesus.” 

 

Download the sheet music to “My Hope is Jesus.”

 

 

Building Harmony into Ministry Marriages

m1Anna Stsonn6Recently a reader asked: How can couples in ministry protect and nurture their marriages toward more love and unity? It’s a good question, and one we should probably ask more often. I’m no marriage expert but my husband and I have worked in harmony in ministry for thirty-seven years. During that time we’ve grieved as we’ve seen some couples in ministry break up or struggle in their relationship while others draw great strength and encouragement from their marriages.

When a couple works together in harmony, each doing his or her own part in a way that blends with the other, the result is a beautiful ministry. Like a symphony, their marriage blend blesses the couple first of all, and then the people they minister to. On the other hand, when the couple fight each other and go in separate directions, the result is a clashing cacophony.

In a marriage, what makes the difference between that beautiful symphony and the clashing cacophony?

In the next few weeks I’m going to share our thoughts on marriage based on Scripture and what we’ve observed through the years.  

 Part One: Making Decisions

Submission and individual freedom need to be balanced or the marriage will suffer. Either extreme will affect the harmony of the marriage.

Suzy works hard to be a submissive wife. Sam speaks with authority and Suzy obeys. She hardly makes any decisions without consulting Sam first. Once he speaks on a subject, she follows his desires without question. If she disagrees with his decision, she prays that God will give her a submissive heart. She may not enjoy doing what Sam says, but she feels responsible before God to obey him. If Sam makes unwise decisions, she figures he is responsible to God for them. She leaves herself in God’s hands, satisfied that she has done her part and must leave the result to God.  In their church ministry Sam writes Suzy’s job description and she fills it. She never disagrees with her husband in public. When people ask Suzy for advice she refers them to Sam and she doesn’t answers questions without consulting him first. She never offers or accepts invitations or makes plans without consulting Sam first.

Edward and Enid, on the other hand, believe in perfect equality in a marriage. Edward makes his decisions; Enid makes hers. They negotiate to make joint decisions come out 50/50. He doesn’t tell Enid how to live and she doesn’t nag him. Edward makes jokes at her expense from the pulpit. She publicly criticizes him. In conversations they often correct each other or argue over who is right. Neither one can offer or accept invitations without consulting the other. Each speaks for himself or herself, but will not answer for each other.

 

These two couples show two extreme views of submission and individual freedom. Suzy takes submission to such an extreme that she doesn’t even need to think for herself. Sam, on the other hand, misses out on a lot of help Suzy could give. Enid works so hard to be equal that she loses some of the benefits of marriage, while Edward’s ministry would profit from her support.

Scripture does talk about submission, but an extreme view of it can destroy a marriage.

Ephesians 5 teaches us that wives need to be submissive to their husbands, but that we all need to submit to one another. A husband should love his wife in the same way Christ loved the church.  1 Peter 3 also admonishes wives to be submissive to their husbands and husbands to live with their wives with understanding, giving honor to them. It calls husbands and wives “heirs together of the grace of life.”

So who gets to make the decisions?

The husband, as head of the house, is responsible for final decisions on major issues. He should lovingly lead his family in spiritual issues as well as more mundane matters.

A Christian wife, however, brings her own unique gifts and abilities to the table. She can also be led by the Holy Spirit and should be capable of making wise decisions. A Christian husband can and should be able to learn from his wife.

A couple should work together in an open and trusting relationship in which each works for the good of the other. Marriage can be such a help and encouragement in ministry or it can be the Achilles’ heel that mortally wounds your ministry.

Each couple needs to work out the way they will implement these principles. Both need to give and take. Both need to recognize the strengths of the other. Who will make what decisions?  What will they do when they disagree? How will they work out differences?

Our marriage

Art and I compartmentalize many decisions. He decides car issues and many house maintenance and lawn issues. I get to rule the kitchen. I make suggestions about our ministry. He sifts them and implements many of them. He decides what computer to buy. I purchase clothing and small home purchases. He drives, I ride.

Many other things we talk about until we come to an agreement. Sometimes a decision is more important to one of us than the other. The one who cares least allows the other one to decide. Sometimes one of us gives in because it doesn’t seem that important. Art’s a gentleman and wants to make me happy so that helps a lot. It’s rare that both of us feel really strongly about a decision and take opposite sides. Rarely I might need to give in, even though I disagree, simply because he’s the husband and I leave it to him.

We did have one issue on which we didn’t agree and when it came up it really upset me and robbed me of any kind of peace. We had agreed that neither one of us would use money for this purpose unless we both agreed on it. The issue surfaced at unpredictable times and always left me feeling unsettled. Finally I said, “Take x amount of dollars a year to use for that cause and I’ll leave you alone about it. I don’t want to hear about it or talk about it. Just use the money to do what you feel you need to.” In that unusual situation that was the best way to make peace.

A balanced view of submission and individual freedom will reflect these Biblical principles:

The husband is the loving leader of the home.

Each person brings gifts and skills to the table. Each will be better qualified to make certain decisions.

Each person needs to have freedom to make many decisions by themselves.

Each person should consider the feelings and needs of the other when making decisions.

Each person should trust each other and be trustworthy.

Each person should be giving and taking. No one should get his or her way most of the time while running over the feelings and desires of the other.

In coming weeks I’ll deal with working as a team, nurturing your relationship, and managing finances.

[image courtesy of m1Anna Stsonn6/Deposit Photos]