Adapting to a New Culture – Chinese

Writing CaligraphyLiving in a new culture forces us to make changes and rethink the way we do things. It causes us to evaluate our home culture by new criteria. We have to make choices about how we are going to live and balance our home culture with our new culture.

Changing cultures stretches our minds and experiences, encouraging us to learn and grow. People who have never left their home culture seldom understand this process and may not understand us after we’ve gone through it. It’s good for us but it’s not necessarily a comfortable process.

Here are some cultural observations from an American friend who has recently spent a year living in a Chinese country:

  • Chinese people who have a close friendship/relationship do not say, “thank you” to each other. Saying “thank you” implies a distant relationship with the other person.
  • Teachers have a serious, conservative demeanor in class. It’s OK to smile, but dramatic gestures and drama can make students uncomfortable.
  • Respect for elders is always important. We need to stand to greet older people who enter the room and call on the oldest brother to open or close a meeting in prayer.
  • Time schedules are made last-minute and are open to change.
  • If you ask people questions to which they don’t know the answer, they are likely to make up an answer. Saving face is more important than truth-telling.

When culture shock was strong, my coping strategies were to read about culture or make a journal entry about it. Our home was a place of rest and normalcy from a Western perspective.

 Local believers and friends were generally quite forgiving of our cultural ignorance and mistakes. But this can make it is harder to learn about your weaknesses.

 Chinese culture is difficult for Westerners to adapt to. Historically, Westerners have failed to adapt well to Chinese culture and have left offences in the Chinese mind. They still admire Americans because they perceive our country as wealthy and successful. However, they do not expect us to adapt very well to Chinese culture. It’s like they think, “You are foreigners. You will always be foreigners. We don’t expect more than that.”

 I want to thank my friend for sharing his experiences. He is challenged to continue to learn about Chinese culture and relate to Chinese in a more effective way.

What things have your learned about a different culture?

[image courtesy J R/deposit photos]

 

 

 

Adapting to a New Culture – Chinese

INTCL019Living in a new culture forces us to make changes and rethink the way we do things. It causes us to evaluate our home culture by new criteria. We have to make choices about how we are going to live and balance our home culture with our new culture.

Changing cultures stretches our minds and experiences, encouraging us to learn and grow. People who have never left their home culture seldom understand this process and may not understand us after we’ve gone through it. It’s good for us but it’s not necessarily a comfortable process.

Here are some cultural observations from an American friend who has recently spent a year living in a Chinese country:

  • Chinese people who have a close friendship/relationship do not say, “thank you” to each other. Saying “thank you” implies a distant relationship with the other person.
  • Teachers have a serious, conservative demeanor in class. It’s OK to smile, but dramatic gestures and drama can make students uncomfortable.
  • Respect for elders is always important. We need to stand to greet older people who enter the room and call on the oldest brother to open or close a meeting in prayer.
  • Time schedules are made last-minute and are open to change.
  • If you ask people questions to which they don’t know the answer, they are likely to make up an answer. Saving face is more important than truth-telling.

When culture shock was strong, my coping strategies were to read about culture or make a journal entry about it. Our home was a place of rest and normalcy from a Western perspective.

Local believers and friends were generally quite forgiving of our cultural ignorance and mistakes. But this can make it is harder to learn about your weaknesses.

 Chinese culture is difficult for Westerners to adapt to. Historically, Westerners have failed to adapt well to Chinese culture and have left offences in the Chinese mind. They still admire Americans because they perceive our country as wealthy and successful. However, they do not expect us to adapt very well to Chinese culture. It’s like they think, “You are foreigners. You will always be foreigners. We don’t expect more than that.”

 I want to thank my friend for sharing his experiences. He is challenged to continue to learn about Chinese culture and relate to Chinese in a more effective way.

Here’s a book by me about Chinese culture in Taiwan: Peanut Butter Friends in a Chop Suey World

Here’s a book I recommend by Dillon Forbes about Chinese culture in China: Careful Enough?

What things have your learned about a different culture?

 

 

 

3 Stages of Adapting to a New Culture

You step off the plane with eager anticipation! Finally you have arrived at your new mission field. You can hardly wait to get started in your new ministry. God has put a love in your heart for these people before you ever knew them. He has made you love this country you know so little about.

But when you meet actual people, you  find them annoying. When you experience a new culture you wonder why they can’t just learn to do things the right way, like people in your host country do.

These ups and downs of living in a new culture are normal. If you expect all ups and no downs, you’re probably going to be disappointed. Each person adapts to a new culture in her own way, but most people go through at least 3 phases.

Stage 1: Wow! This is so cool!

When you first arrive on the field everything is new and different and exciting. You feel so privileged to live in this country and see its beauty and live among the nationals. You eat new fruit like hairy rambutans or stinky duriens or fat pomelos.  You find bargains on the ground in the market and learn to count out coins to buy them. You learn to say a few words in the new language and you’re sure you are going to be the next Amy Carmichael or Jim or Elizabeth Elliot.

And you probably expect to stay on this high for a lifetime of ministry. But if you do, your expectations are likely to crash before long when you experience . . .

Stage 2: This stinks!

You find a great restaurant, then you find out they wash their dishes in cold water in the back alley. You have a hard time reading the sign for the restroom, and when you find it, you discover a totally ridiculous style of toilet. These people have no regard for traffic laws. You’re quite sure you are more intelligent than the average national, but when you speak their language you sound like a stammering child. And the way they make decisions is incredible. You could teach them a thing or two from your host culture . . . if anyone would listen.

Stage 2 can be dangerous. Many missionaries give up and go home during stage 2, when they could have been good missionaries if they would stayed long enough to last until . . .

Stage 3: This is life.

In time you come to realize the new culture has both good and bad elements. More than that you learn that there are many acceptable ways to do most tasks. Your way makes most sense to you because you’re used to it. Your way may always seem best to you, but when you are with others you learn to adapt to what makes them comfortable.  In time you may even get past the urge to think of new ways to fix everything you don’t like in the new culture.  That’s real progress!

In my first book, Peanut Butter Friends in a Chop Suey World, Amy goes through this process when she moves from Wyoming to the mission field of Taiwan. This fiction book is aimed at pre-teens, but much of it comes from my own efforts at adapting to Chinese culture. You’ll find it here with discussion questions: http://www.debbrammerbooks.com/books/peanut-butter-friends-in-a-chop-suey-world/

Are you a missionary or have you had prolonged contact with a culture different from your own? What experiences would you like to share that fit into one of these three stages? What have you learned that helped you cope with the ups and downs of adapting to culture? Image