Discover New Worlds

Kid reading the Book. EducationBooks take you to new worlds. Your mind tramps through new places and situations, but your feet don’t get muddy. When you read my books you walk through some of the same fascinating cultures and sub-cultures I have encountered as I grew up in American, lived 16 years in Taiwan, and now live in New Zealand.

During my 35 years of writing for Christian publication I’ve seen the publishing world turned upside down. In Taiwan I reached out to Chinese people who knew little about Christianity with ESL Bible studies. In New Zealand I’ve needed to tailor church programs and puppet scripts to fit a small mission church in various stages. In recent years I entered a new world of cooking as I learned to cook gluten-free recipes for my celiac husband. I want to use this website to share these resources with others. I hope you’ll find them helpful.

You may also want to follow my weekly blog in which I talk about subjects of interest to writers and people in ministry. I hope these posts will bring hope and help to others in ministry.

Celebrating Anniversary Milestones

Twenty years ago my first book was published by Bob Jones University Press. Ten years ago they published my second book. Since then I’ve published four other books. Today I’m inviting you to join in the celebration of two milestones and learn some fun facts about these two books. I am also celebrating by offering both of these books as giveaways on Goodreads from September 12 to October 10, 2014. (Sorry, only US Goodreads members can enter to win. These books don’t have worldwide distribution rights.)

 2014 — Twentieth Anniversary of Peanut Butter Friends in a Chop Suey World

This book about an American girl who becomes an MK in Taiwan is in its seventh printing!peanut-butter

Q: Peanut Butter Friends has outsold all your other books by far. Why do you think that is?

A: I believe two things really help sell this book.

First of all, it has a unique message.  It gives a very realistic view of an MK leaving America, encountering a new culture, and learning to adapt to all the changes in the various aspects of her life.  It shows a mission field that is modern, but has a very different culture than a Western culture. I’ve hunted and I can’t find one other fiction book for kids that does this. If you know of one, let me know. Many mission agencies have given this book to MK’s who are on their way to the mission field for the first time to help them understand the issues they will face in a new culture.

Secondly, Bob Jones University Press also uses this book as a companion novel with their Bible Truths 3: Following Christ. Many third graders read this book as part of their school work.

Q: Why does your book have such a long title when most titles today are short?

A: Of all the books I’ve written, Peanut Butter Friends in a Chop Suey World is the one most people recognize and remember.  People often say they love the title. In the beginning Bob Jones University Press said the title was too long. Shorter titles are more popular today and they said it would give their cover designer problems. In the end, however, they accepted the title and worked it into their design. My husband often remarks that it is the title that people remember.

Q:  I know Peanut Butter Friends is fiction, but does it reflect the experience of your daughters growing up in Taiwan?

A: Not really. They grew up in Taiwan from the time they were babies, so much of their experience was different than Amy’s. They didn’t experience “culture shock” like an older child would going to a new country.  For much of their growing up years, however, they belonged to the only non-Chinese family in a town of 250,000 people. They did experience many things in the book. My husband and I experienced more culture shock as adults. I adapted my experience to a kid’s age level and wrote about the challenges MK’s commonly encounter in Taiwan.

Q: Was Peanut Butter Friends hard to write?

A: This was a very easy book to write because it came from my experience. The things Amy faced were many of the same things I faced, only on a child’s level. The things she ate, the places she went, the world in which she lived were the same as mine. I just took life all around me and put it in a fictional setting.

Q: Fiction is fun to read, but does it really change lives?

A: I hear from a very small percentage of my readers, but several  MK’s have told me how this book has changed their lives. Here’s one example:

About ten years ago an MK named Amy wrote me. In 1998 Amy was six years old and her family was flying to Taiwan to begin being missionaries there. Amy was sad to be leaving her American friends behind and had been praying to make new friends in Taiwan. When Amy got on the plane her mom surprised her with a gift from her Grandma. That gift was a fiction book about a girl named Amy who also left America to become an MK in Taiwan—Peanut Butter Friends in a Chop Suey World. The real Amy’s mom told me, “Your book was such an incredible personal love gift from our Lord!” Amy read this book about 12 times during their first term of service in Taiwan. I like to think she patterned some of her life in Taiwan after my book.

Review by a reader

Peanut Butter Friends in a Chop Suey World is a fantastic book! It was such a great help to me, as I am sure it was to everyone else who has read it. My family & I are actually missionaries to Wales, so it helped that this girl my age was facing the same situations that I will deal with on the mission field! What I loved most was how she faced her problems in the end. Instead of bundling all of her fears inside, she went to God to ask for His help. I should do the same. Take it from me when I say that this book is a must-have! (In an earlier letter Krystal says she has read this book at least 11 times and that it’s her “all-time favorite.”)

—Krystal McPeters, 2014

Read the first chapter here.

Read the discussion questions here.

 2014 — Tenth Anniversary of Two Sides to Everything

This book tells about an American boy from Denver who goes to live for a short time in rural New Zealand.two_sides

Q: Is this a story about missionaries too?

A: Not strictly. Josh leaves his parents in Denver to come live on a sheep farm in New Zealand with his mom’s uncle while she recovers from a serious accident. This book explores cultural differences, but only mentions American missionaries who have started the church Josh attends.

Q: Why did you write this book about adapting to another culture when you had already written one?

A: Chinese culture in Taiwan is very different from Kiwi culture in New Zealand. Kiwis (New Zealanders) speak English and their culture is much more similar to American culture, and yet there are subtle differences. Today many missionaries go to very progressive countries with a Western culture. They face different challenges than missionaries who go to third world countries with an extremely different culture. Two Sides reflects a ministry in a progressive, Western culture.

Q: How did you do research for Two Sides?

A: I live in Invercargill, New Zealand, a town of about 50,000 people on the southern tip of New Zealand. (It is home to the southernmost Starbucks in the world.) I am less familiar with the rural setting that this book reflects. Many of the people in our church know much more about farm life than I do. I asked my friends lots of questions and I stayed overnight at a farm bed and breakfast and asked the farmer lots of questions. I also sent pictures from our area that the artist, Matthew Archambault, used to illustrate the book.

Q: Is Two Sides also a reflection of what you have learned in New Zealand?

A: Certainly all the cultural ideas are ones I learned from living here. The main idea of the book is one that I have especially learned by living in different cultures as well as doing things with people of different personality types. Many people may experience the same event, yet each goes away with a slightly different view of what happened and why. We will get along with people better when we learn to view life from different perspectives.

 Reviews by Readers

Deb Brammer weaves a great story that will keep readers turning the pages. Christian values are throughout the book without being preachy. Children ages 9-12 will find plenty of action and adventure. Older kids, including myself, found the book intriguing. Highly recommended!

—Jessica Loughner, age 13, Christian Book Previews

 What a great find! BJUP does it again! Two Sides to Everything is a book my son eagerly devoured in one day (hours of reading pleasure.) Written by Deb Brammer, this book takes you to New Zealand where a whole different culture is discovered. Lots of drama, ending in a lesson in character and wisdom. Journey Forth, a department over at BJUP, is coming out with more and more excellent material all the time. Perfect for homeschoolers!

—Gena Suarez, Publisher, The Old Schoolhouse Magazine

 Read the first chapter here.

Read the discussion questions here.

Building Harmony into Ministry Marriages

0 TXVzaWNfTm90ZXNfU3Rhbl8wMDIuanBnPart Four: Managing Your Finances

Picture an orchestra playing a magnificent symphony. All the different instruments make their entrance and play their respective parts. At the end, all come together in a swelling crescendo that moves the emotions and stirs the heart. It leaves you with an unforgettable feeling you can’t explain. You remember that high note that the flute hit perfectly or the rumbling of the bass. You don’t think about the mechanical bits like how many beats there were to a measure or what key the piece was in. Those mechanical bits aren’t even noticeable when the piece is played right, but if one player is playing to a different time or in a different key, the symphony is far from pleasant.

Finances are one of the mundane parts of marriage that no one likes to talk about. When they’re in order your marriage can move on to more interesting pursuits. When there is dissension or unwise choices in this area, however, the marriage suffers in other ways.

Art and I are so blessed to have come from similar family backgrounds. Both of us were raised in Christian homes by parents who were faithful, fun, and frugal. That gives us similar ideas about finances and how to spend them. Handling finances can be a big problem. They lead to the breakup of many marriages. Even ministry marriages struggle with this.

Here again, balance is a key word in dealing with finances. Couples who spend more than they make get in huge financial trouble. But couples who are so frugal that they don’t provide for the needs of their families also have problems.

Living within a Budget

Somehow couples need to agree on how much they can spend and what to spend it on. They need to look ahead and prepare for emergencies that could come up. During certain times in their lives they might need to be extremely frugal. Seminary students with families often have to pinch every penny in order to get by. They may have to do very careful shopping at the grocery store and buy necessities second hand. Hopefully the situation will ease with time.

When you are on a very tight budget with no choice about it, you will have to work hard to stay contented. Everyone around you may seem to have more money than you have, but you must be happy with less. Wanting more than you can have will make your marriage unhappy and may push you to make unwise choices.

Hopefully you will come to a time when, even though you may have to be careful, you will have a little more freedom to make choices. Both husband and wife should have some freedom to use money for things they choose. A husband should be able to trust his wife to spend money freely within the guidelines that have agreed to. Part of being an adult should be having freedom to make financial choices.

Very often God puts a frugal person with someone who spends more freely so that they can balance each other out. If the money just isn’t there, obviously, you can’t spend it, but we can be too frugal as well.

I have seen ministry marriages in which the wife and family lived in unnecessarily harsh conditions, without enough heat in the house or without proper food. Sometimes the family never takes a vacation or goes fun places together. In some cases the wife has to account for every penny she spends and can spend little to no money on things she enjoys.  This puts a strain on the marriage. Many marriages go through hard financial times, but I believe, if at all possible, a wife and family ought to be able to enjoy reasonable comfort and some fun things and activities.

Kids will also be less likely to resent the ministry if they don’t feel poor. Most ministry families have to be careful with their spending and may have less “things” than families around them. But when children grow up and they feel like they never had nice things growing up, that their Christmases and birthdays were pathetic compared to their friends, they may resent that. Giving them a few nice things that they really want and that give them good memories may really help their perception of the ministry. And a wife who feels she can’t give nice things to her kids won’t be happy either.

On the other hand, I know marriages that failed largely due to a wife who spent money too fast on things they didn’t really need. If you find yourself shopping for fun and buying more than you need, think about whether or not you can afford to do that or if you need to stop.

Marriages will be stronger if both husband and wife:

  • agree to financial guidelines,
  • live within their budget or guidelines,
  • have freedom to make choices, and
  • work to be content with the standard of living they can afford.

[image courtesy of m1Anna Stsonn6/Deposit Photos]

Building Harmony into Ministry Marriages

m1Anna Stsonn4Part Three: Nurturing Your Relationship

It’s easy to get so busy in the ministry that you neglect your marriage relationship, but that relationship is foundational to your ministry. A man may be a powerful preacher or able administrator, but if his marriage relationship is in chaos, his ministry will be greatly hampered. Harmony in the relationship is key to a harmonious ministry.

Remember when you were first “in love”? When he looked at you, you felt like a beauty queen.  When she looked at you, you felt like lightning was coursing through your body. After several years of marriage you begin to understand that a lot of that physical attraction is just hormones. Yes, a good sexual relationship will help a marriage and protect it from outside attack, but there’s got to be more to a relationship that that. In time libido will wane, and then what will you have left?

Art and I have been married thirty-seven years. More and more I see that the biggest hunk of marital love is friendship and companionship.  You may change ministries. You may move away from family. But a marriage should last a lifetime. If your marriage relationship is weak, your ministry will suffer too. So how can you protect and nurture your marriage relationship?

 Trust

Proverbs 31 says of the virtuous woman, “The heart of her husband safely trusts her.” (NKJV)

Your marriage partner should be able to completely trust you and you should be able to trust him. That means you don’t sneak around behind his back and do things you know he wouldn’t approve of. You make decisions that fit with agreements you have already made. You don’t undermine his authority. You know her well enough to know what she’ll like or won’t like and try to please her. You honor joint agreements. You know what your spouse wants to be consulted on and when he doesn’t mind if you make decisions for him and you honor that.

If you can’t trust your marriage partner totally or you can’t be trusted, your relationship will suffer greatly.

 Consideration

Art often quotes 1 Peter 3:7 to married men. “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them (your wives) with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” (NKJV)

That means a husband needs to consider the needs and desires of his wife. When he makes decisions he needs to consider what’s best for his wife and delight in making her happy. His decision shouldn’t run over her needs.

At the same time a wife needs to consider her husband, how to help him and make him happy.

Simple kindness and consideration for each other is a big part of what makes a marriage relationship strong.

One thing I love about Art is the fact that he takes care of my silly but precious things like dolls, teddy bears, or collectables. If they are important to me, they’re important to him.

 Friendship

Your marriage partner should be your best friend for life. That means you need to nurture that friendship. You may have separate interests that you like to pursue, and that is healthy, but you should also have things you like to do together.

What do you like to talk about? Are those things encouraging to you, or do they discourage? Can your read or view something together that gives you more to talk about? Is one person doing most of the talking and the other mainly listening? Encourage each other to share the things that mean a lot to you. Thank each other for sharing even when you don’t agree. Instead of censuring your partner, listen to understand his or her viewpoint.

Develop common interests. You may encourage each other in private pursuits, but you should also have things you enjoy doing together. After a while boredom may step in, so consider breaking the mold and beginning a new joint venture.

Art has always been a fast distance runner. He picks up any sport naturally and well. I’m hopeless at sports but love creative crafts and writing. We’ve each pursued our own interests, but we also learn from the other. I understand more about sports than I used to. Art will sometimes talk about writing issues. But we both like to rummage around garage sales and second hand stores. Sure, our house gets full of silly collectables sometimes and we have to restrain ourselves or recycle things we have previously loved. But looking for bargains brings us closer together. I don’t know just why.

Of course, we both love to go snorkelling on the Great Barrier Reef as well. (Who wouldn’t?)

Life is busy these days. Follow a diet. Spend time with your kids. Increase your skills. Keep up with social networks. Excel at your job. But in your busyness, don’t neglect your marriage relationship or it will affect your ministry and almost every area of your life.

[image courtesy of m1Anna Stsonn6/Deposit Photos]

Building Harmony into Ministry Marriages

m1Anna Stsonn5Part Two: Working as a Team

In my last blog I began talking about ministry marriages and how to nurture them.  A couple can have a much more effective ministry by working together as a team than be each going their separate ways. Building that harmony into a marriage isn’t always easy, but good harmony will bless everyone around them.

Scripture pictures marriage as being like two oxen yoked together. The man and wife should be moving in the same direction at the same pace for the same purpose. This need for unity is even more important in a ministry marriage. If a couple is not united in purpose and are going separate directions, their ministry will suffer.

Have you ever met a passionate, gifted pastor with a wife who wished she could be someplace else? Doesn’t work very well, does it? Or maybe you’ve met a woman who longed to be in ministry and was trying to drag her husband along with her. God doesn’t lead a couple together and then give them mutually exclusive ministries.

Wives can help their husbands by supporting their ministries and working alongside them to see those ministries thrive. Husbands can help their wives by recognizing their gifts and encouraging them to use them.

About forty years ago Art Brammer felt the Lord calling him to a missions ministry in Taiwan. I was eager to be involved in ministry and searching for God’s will. Two weeks after we started dating Art told me about his desire to be a missionary to Taiwan and wondered if I would be open to the possibility. I told him I felt God was leading me to write for Christian publication, but I was also open to missions. The Lord led us together in marriage, then to Taiwan for sixteen years, then on to New Zealand for more years than that.

Unity of purpose has helped us to work well together in various times of ministry. We both cared about the same people and ministries, though we had different jobs within those ministries.

Here are some ways I support Art in his ministry:

 1. Support and encourage his teaching ministry and ideas, both privately and publicly.

 2. Give feedback in a positive way.

At times Art says something from the pulpit that comes out sounding like he means something different than I know he does. At times like that I mention it to him in private and allow him to correct it as he sees fit. I also try to get a sense of how people are responding to various ideas or events in the church and communicate that to him privately. Are we having enough or too many fellowship nights? Are people ready to make various changes? Who might be ready to fill a certain church office? Is a church member struggling with something?

3. Offer suggestions for programs or events in the church.

Art is a great plodder. He never grows weary of studying and he prepares well for all of his teaching and preaching times throughout the week. It’s easier for me, however, to come up with ideas for outreaches, programs, and events in our church. When I think of a new idea I run it past him. Sometimes these ideas don’t fly, but often, in talking about the idea, we come up with something that works well. Art doesn’t resent my ideas. He welcomes them, though he doesn’t use all of them.

 4. Complement his ministry with my ministry.

I teach, plan, play the piano, lead programs, and do what I can do to help our team ministry prosper.

But Art also supports me in my ministry.

1. He recognizes my gifts and encourages me to use them.

Yes, he’s happy for me to use my gifts in our ministry. I teach, play the piano, and lead various programs. I enjoy these things and feel the Lord leading me to do these. But throughout all these years he has also encouraged me to write for Christian publication. This takes time, energy, sometimes finances, which I have to carve out of my life in addition to ministry. He encourages me to do this because he wants me to be happy and because he recognizes the Lord leading me to do these things.

2. He gives me feedback about my church ministry and my writing ministry.

He gives suggestions and help. He’s my first editor.

3. He helps me in areas of need.

He works through computer problems and handles my writing finances. He encourages me to go to writing conferences when I can, and order helpful books or resources. When I plan events at church he’s the first to help me set up or clean up. When I plan a book launch he’s the quiet helper who makes everything work.

When a husband and wife work together in accordance with God’s will, ministry becomes more effective and rewarding. The hard times become more bearable. Without that unity of purpose, however, the ministry suffers and the marriage does too. Even when a couple is serving in separate ministries, they can support each other in a way that makes them stronger in each individual ministry.

Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be likeminded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus, that you may with one mind and one mouth glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 15:5-6 (NKJV)

[image courtesy of m1Anna Stsonn6/Deposit Photos]

Building Harmony into Ministry Marriages

m1Anna Stsonn6Recently a reader asked: How can couples in ministry protect and nurture their marriages toward more love and unity? It’s a good question, and one we should probably ask more often. I’m no marriage expert but my husband and I have worked in harmony in ministry for thirty-seven years. During that time we’ve grieved as we’ve seen some couples in ministry break up or struggle in their relationship while others draw great strength and encouragement from their marriages.

When a couple works together in harmony, each doing his or her own part in a way that blends with the other, the result is a beautiful ministry. Like a symphony, their marriage blend blesses the couple first of all, and then the people they minister to. On the other hand, when the couple fight each other and go in separate directions, the result is a clashing cacophony.

In a marriage, what makes the difference between that beautiful symphony and the clashing cacophony?

In the next few weeks I’m going to share our thoughts on marriage based on Scripture and what we’ve observed through the years.  

 Part One: Making Decisions

Submission and individual freedom need to be balanced or the marriage will suffer. Either extreme will affect the harmony of the marriage.

Suzy works hard to be a submissive wife. Sam speaks with authority and Suzy obeys. She hardly makes any decisions without consulting Sam first. Once he speaks on a subject, she follows his desires without question. If she disagrees with his decision, she prays that God will give her a submissive heart. She may not enjoy doing what Sam says, but she feels responsible before God to obey him. If Sam makes unwise decisions, she figures he is responsible to God for them. She leaves herself in God’s hands, satisfied that she has done her part and must leave the result to God.  In their church ministry Sam writes Suzy’s job description and she fills it. She never disagrees with her husband in public. When people ask Suzy for advice she refers them to Sam and she doesn’t answers questions without consulting him first. She never offers or accepts invitations or makes plans without consulting Sam first.

Edward and Enid, on the other hand, believe in perfect equality in a marriage. Edward makes his decisions; Enid makes hers. They negotiate to make joint decisions come out 50/50. He doesn’t tell Enid how to live and she doesn’t nag him. Edward makes jokes at her expense from the pulpit. She publicly criticizes him. In conversations they often correct each other or argue over who is right. Neither one can offer or accept invitations without consulting the other. Each speaks for himself or herself, but will not answer for each other.

 

These two couples show two extreme views of submission and individual freedom. Suzy takes submission to such an extreme that she doesn’t even need to think for herself. Sam, on the other hand, misses out on a lot of help Suzy could give. Enid works so hard to be equal that she loses some of the benefits of marriage, while Edward’s ministry would profit from her support.

Scripture does talk about submission, but an extreme view of it can destroy a marriage.

Ephesians 5 teaches us that wives need to be submissive to their husbands, but that we all need to submit to one another. A husband should love his wife in the same way Christ loved the church.  1 Peter 3 also admonishes wives to be submissive to their husbands and husbands to live with their wives with understanding, giving honor to them. It calls husbands and wives “heirs together of the grace of life.”

So who gets to make the decisions?

The husband, as head of the house, is responsible for final decisions on major issues. He should lovingly lead his family in spiritual issues as well as more mundane matters.

A Christian wife, however, brings her own unique gifts and abilities to the table. She can also be led by the Holy Spirit and should be capable of making wise decisions. A Christian husband can and should be able to learn from his wife.

A couple should work together in an open and trusting relationship in which each works for the good of the other. Marriage can be such a help and encouragement in ministry or it can be the Achilles’ heel that mortally wounds your ministry.

Each couple needs to work out the way they will implement these principles. Both need to give and take. Both need to recognize the strengths of the other. Who will make what decisions?  What will they do when they disagree? How will they work out differences?

Our marriage

Art and I compartmentalize many decisions. He decides car issues and many house maintenance and lawn issues. I get to rule the kitchen. I make suggestions about our ministry. He sifts them and implements many of them. He decides what computer to buy. I purchase clothing and small home purchases. He drives, I ride.

Many other things we talk about until we come to an agreement. Sometimes a decision is more important to one of us than the other. The one who cares least allows the other one to decide. Sometimes one of us gives in because it doesn’t seem that important. Art’s a gentleman and wants to make me happy so that helps a lot. It’s rare that both of us feel really strongly about a decision and take opposite sides. Rarely I might need to give in, even though I disagree, simply because he’s the husband and I leave it to him.

We did have one issue on which we didn’t agree and when it came up it really upset me and robbed me of any kind of peace. We had agreed that neither one of us would use money for this purpose unless we both agreed on it. The issue surfaced at unpredictable times and always left me feeling unsettled. Finally I said, “Take x amount of dollars a year to use for that cause and I’ll leave you alone about it. I don’t want to hear about it or talk about it. Just use the money to do what you feel you need to.” In that unusual situation that was the best way to make peace.

A balanced view of submission and individual freedom will reflect these Biblical principles:

The husband is the loving leader of the home.

Each person brings gifts and skills to the table. Each will be better qualified to make certain decisions.

Each person needs to have freedom to make many decisions by themselves.

Each person should consider the feelings and needs of the other when making decisions.

Each person should trust each other and be trustworthy.

Each person should be giving and taking. No one should get his or her way most of the time while running over the feelings and desires of the other.

In coming weeks I’ll deal with working as a team, nurturing your relationship, and managing finances.

[image courtesy of m1Anna Stsonn6/Deposit Photos]