20/20 Vision: New Focus for a New Decade

Since my last blog we’ve moved into a new decade. Maybe you’re entering it with mixed emotions. You’re challenged by the new opportunities, but alarmed at how fast the world is changing. You’ve memorized some of God’s promises, but you’ve also seen your share of heartaches. Worry-filled whispers disturb your peace.

What will this new decade bring to your life?

Recently, while sorting through my files, I found a journal from the 1980’s. Reading those entries I was reminded of a long forgotten period in our lives that included some of our most difficult days. At that time my family and I were missionaries in Taiwan.

Finances

Due to a rapid decline in the value of the US dollar and a new financial commitment in our ministry, we were not making it financially. Things were breaking that we could not afford to have fixed. Our finances were inadequate and I could find no other reasonable ways to cut corners.

Conflict

We were going through one of our most stressful times of personal conflict in a situation that had developed there in Taiwan. As a result, we backed out of a group in which we had previously found friendship and emotional support.

Ministry

During the most painful part of this conflict, a family in our tiny mission church felt overlooked and quit coming over a very trivial matter.  They shared their complaints with singles in the church.

Missionary Friends

In the same couple of years that these things happened, some missionary friends of ours, a family and a single, had to leave Taiwan suddenly due to extreme personal problems and failure.

It was a scary time for us, but we lived through it and continued our ministry in Taiwan for nearly ten more years until the Lord led us away from there and to our current ministry in New Zealand. Why am I sharing this? Because tough times can shake our resolve or even our faith. Or they can make us stronger. In the moment of crisis we just want to survive. In tough times we all need encouragement. Looking back to this difficult time in my past gives me help and hope for the future that I want to share with you.

Hindsight is 20/20.

At the moment of decision we often wonder which choice is right. In hindsight, of course, we can see things that would have helped us make that decision, had we but known. Looking back on my situation from the 1980’s in hindsight encourages me as I approach the 2020’s with confidence. God brought us through those days and He will bring me through my future. When I forget that, it’s because I’ve lost my spiritual focus. How can you and I adjust our spiritual vision closer to 20/20 and see more clearly? It’s a matter of focus.

Focus on God’s promises, not your fears.

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

The future is as bright as the promises of God. But sometimes we can only see the problem and not the provision. As our finances tightened in the 1980’s, we wondered if we would have to leave the field early to raise support. Then several churches raised our support. Also, due to a sad situation in the life of another missionary, a church from Singapore started supporting us, sight unseen, and became one of our highest supporting churches throughout the rest of our ministry in Taiwan. Philippians 4:19 proved true once again.

The future may look dark, but God sees it perfectly and He promises to give us everything we need to follow His will. When we get discouraged, it’s a sure sign that we are focusing more on our problems than God’s promises.

Focus on the future, not the past.

 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14

These verses liken the Christian life to a foot race. To run the race of the Christian life well, we have to forget the things behind and press forward. The past can hold us back if we hold onto it too tightly. In the midst of our difficulties we need to come to terms with the challenges and resolve problems when possible. But then we need to move on.

During the conflict in the 1980’s, we were unable to resolve our differences with one family, but we learned to greet them in a friendly way when we ran into them. That didn’t make us best friends, but it did allow us to breathe when they were around. Time healed that wound and the experience of moving past a painful situation taught us how to handle a similar situation years later.

Reading my journal from the 1980’s also made me thankful for a poor memory. These years were some of our most difficult, but thankfully time has dimmed the memory and healed the pain. We chose to remember the good times and let the bad memories fade. That tells me that, when life seems so difficult you can scarcely breathe, that is not the end.  Healing and hope ahead call us to keep running the course God has given to us.

Focus on where God is leading.

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord. Psalm 37:23

Sometimes a disturbing event signals a change we need to make. In the 1980’s God used the conflict we were experiencing to lead us to change schools for our daughters. Later, in 1996 the Lord led us away from Taiwan, but we stayed until God’s leading was clear and certain. Leaving before God’s time would have been failure. Staying past God’s time for us to leave would have been failure as well.

The Lord not only orders our steps. He orders our stops as well.  When God stops you, take time to refocus. Perhaps God is leading you in a new direction. If so, that stop is actually progress.

Focus on your own course.

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us. Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Hebrews 12:1-3

 These verses compare our life of faith to a race to be run. It’s easy to get distracted by other runners or worries that weigh us down. We need to fix our eyes on Jesus, the finisher of our faith, who endured His course all the way to the cross. He will help us finish our course.

In the 1980’s, it was scary seeing other missionaries fail and become disqualified from ministry. Later on, some of our closest missionary friends left the field to move to other ministries. But their race was different than ours. We needed to persevere in Taiwan as long as God’s will for our ministry was there.

When we face fears, conflict, failure, confusion, or any other obstacles, we need to fix our eyes on Jesus and get on with the race.

So how will you greet the 2020’s? Will you shrink back in fear or welcome the decade with faith? I choose faith. Will you join me?

I close with a quote from Our Daily Bread about 60 years ago. Times have changed, but God’s wisdom, power, and control are as strong as ever.

“The year ahead is untried – it is beckoning tomorrow fraught with new experiences and possibilities. The wise in heart will enter it with faith, hope, and Scriptural optimism, and determine to take advantage of every God-given opportunity.”

 

A Thankful Heart

Do you ever experience days so dark that you can’t see God’s hand in your life? Mary Weaver tried to save the life of a baby in her care, but when the baby died, she was accused of first degree murder. This Christian lady and her lawyer friend fought hard to prove her innocence. At times it seemed that life had spiraled out of God’s control, but time showed, during the darkest days, God was quietly working for her good.

Mary chose to be thankful, even during her darkest days in prison. Today I’m sharing an excerpt from Mary’s story as a challenge to all of us to keep a thankful heart. At the end I’ll tell you where you can get the entire ebook with Mary’s amazing story for free during this month of December 2019.

Excerpt from Chapter 25 of Edges of Truth by Deb Brammer

Mary Weaver sat on her prison bunk and slipped a family photo from the pages of her Bible. It pictured her with her husband and two children, before she was sentenced to life in prison without parole. She caressed her red-headed son, John and his blonde sister, Catherine in the picture. For sixteen months she had only seen them once a week when her husband brought them to the prison visiting room.

It all started January 22, 1993 when Mary was providing childcare for 11-month-old Melissa. When the baby quit breathing Mary fought for her life, but the baby died later that day. Mary had never done anything to hurt Melissa, but experts were divided on their opinions about her guilt. A life sentence was currently stealing time with her precious children. Mary’s lawyers were seeking to appeal her case, but over a year had passed and they still hadn’t been able to get a new trial. Meanwhile Mary was separated from her husband and kids who were now five and six years old.

Mary felt sure God would eventually free her and clear her name. She was a Christian and she knew God would get her through prison one day at a time. But she grieved for her children and unsaved husband. Months had passed into a year and more and her children were growing up without her. She would never get those years back.

As Mary sat in her cell worrying about her family, a guard appeared at the door. “Mrs. Weaver? You got a visitor.”

Mary set her Bible aside and preceded the guard down the prison corridor. Who could this be? As she stepped into the visitor’s room Catherine skipped up to her in a pink tutu and leotard.

“Mommy, Mommy, I’m going to my dance recital! Aunt Lisa brought me so you could fix my hair.” Catherine jumped around until Mary could hardly get a hug from her.

Mary smiled her thanks at her friend, Lisa Murphy, who had figured out this creative way to include Mary in her daughter’s special occasion.

Mary drew her daughter close. “I’d love to fix your hair. Shall we do French braids?”

“Yes, yes, yes, with pink ribbons!” Catherine bounced with every word.

Mary removed ribbons and elastic bands from Catherine’s ponytail and pulled long blonde strands into sections with her fingers.

“Hold still,” she reminded her daughter as she started one braid. Mary breathed in the fruity fragrance of the superfine hair as she began to weave the strands into identical braids on either side of her daughter’s head, then tied perfect pink bows at each end.

Catherine shook her head to feel her new hairdo. “Thank you, Mommy! I can’t wait to see myself in the mirror.”

Mary surreptitiously wiped tears with one sleeve. “You look beautiful. Can you show me your dance?”

Catherine performed several ballet steps, ending with a lopsided pirouette. Mary clapped loudly. “Good job! Just remember, when you’re in that recital today, I’m going to be thinking about you.”

Catherine gazed at her mom with pleading eyes. “I wish you could come to my recital.”

Mary blinked some tears from her eyes. “Me too, sweetheart, but Aunt Lisa will take pictures and I’ll study them carefully. Just remember that your mommy is very proud of you!”

Mary gave her daughter a quick, prison-acceptable hug and watched the two walk away. Satan whispered, “You are missing her recital and all the other important moments in her life.”

Mary lifted her chin. But God allowed me to fix her hair. God gave me that precious moment. God is good.

She thought of other ways God had allowed her to mother her children as well. God had given Mary a prison job, and her wages had been raised from thirty-eight to forty-one cents an hour. So what if it was only ten percent of minimum wage? The job made her time pass more quickly, and she could use the money in the commissary or craft store. Supporters could also add twenty dollars a week to her prison account. The activities directors had been especially kind to use this money to purchase fabric and patterns for her. Mary had been able to sew outfits for the kids, paint T-shirts, and buy presents for them.

Mary returned to her cell, sat on her bunk, opened her Bible, and prayed. Lord, help me to be thankful for what I have, not to complain about what I don’t have.

A prison sentence made it easy to slide into self-pity. Unfairness could defeat her but only if she let it. Instead she thought about The Hiding Place, a prison library book she had recently read. Corrie ten Boom had hidden Jews in Holland during World War II. The Nazis had caught her and thrown her into a bitter cold prison for four months, then a women’s extermination camp in Germany. Except for her sister, who was imprisoned with her for a time, Corrie had almost no contact with her family. She and her sister existed in overcrowded, filthy cells with little regard for sanitation and little to eat. They were allowed no exercise or fresh air.

Like Mary, Corrie was unfairly imprisoned, yet Corrie’s sister challenged her to focus on what she had. Corrie accepted the challenge. In solitary confinement she hungered for human contact, but she thanked God for an ant that crawled into her cell and provided a bit of company. In one of her prison cells, for one hour a day, she could stretch herself out tall and feel the sun shine on her head and chest. She thanked God for the sunshine. Later, at the extermination camp, she slept piled on a straw-covered platform with many other prisoners, sandwiched between other crowded platforms. Fleas infested the stinking straw, but Corrie even learned to thank God for the fleas. The tiny insects kept the guards away from the overcrowded bunk, where she hid her precious Bible.

Mary closed her eyes to shut out the conversation of the other inmates lounging right outside her cell. Her prison cell was the Ritz Carlton compared to the ones in the book. “Thank you, Lord, that my family is safe and that I can see them every week. Thank you that I have other gals to talk to. You’ve even given me a roommate who seems to be a true Christian. Thank you that I can feel safe in prison, that other inmates haven’t given me trouble, that the guards treat me with respect. Thank you that I have a Bible and I can read it openly, whenever I want. Thank you that I’ve grown closer to you in prison.”

The State had stolen her family. The first year they seized all her possessions, even her clothes. Only now they allowed her to keep a few things of her own. The State could separate her from her home and family, but they couldn’t take God away from her and they couldn’t take her away from God. She would focus on him and the things she was allowed to enjoy. Today that meant fixing her daughter’s hair for a special occasion.

***

God showers us with so many blessings every day that we sometimes get used to them and claim them as rights. When we have them we don’t appreciate them, and when we don’t, we complain.

This Christmas time is a great time to focus on what we have. What has God given you today?  

Mary’s story challenged me constantly during the two years it took to write it. You can get Edges of Truth: The Mary Weaver Story, the whole ebook, for free, along with Christian books by 19 other authors, here.  Current subscribers to Deb’s Book Blast have already received a link to download Edges of Truth for free.

You can find the companion Bible study book here for 99 cents. I Survived! uses illustrations from Mary’s story in this study of 5 Bible characters who survived disaster.

Have a Christ-filled Christmas and take some time quiet time for reading quality Christian books during these last days of 2019.

Going Against the Flow: Straight Talk about Purity for Girls

In America 40% of all babies are born outside wedlock. In New Zealand it’s nearly 50%. Today childbearing women of all ages tend to have fluid relationships, sometimes moving in and out of relationships and dragging their kids with them. So for teenage girls in our churches, purity goes against the flow. Friends, teachers, and media all around them tell them virgins are losers and no one waits for marriage anymore.

In recent years I felt a definite nudge from the Lord to address the issue in our mission church. Maybe you’re thinking about holding some classes in your youth group or having a purity weekend. Today I’m going to share the main ideas I covered with my girls in four weekly sessions.

Knowing my Heart: Who am I in Christ?

Some of the first girls to lose their virginity are girls with very low self-esteem. Also, Christian girls who have already lost their virginity may feel that they have ruined God’s plan for their life. They may feel like trash. So I felt this was a good place to start talking about purity.

A close look at 2 Timothy 2:20-22 tells us that a wealthy house has all kinds of containers. Some, like a tin can, hold trash. Others, like a crystal goblet, are used for honored guests. All are useful, but some hold a position of honor. If we keep ourselves pure we can be one of God’s treasured vessels. The way we dress, the movies we watch, the things we thinks about, our relationship with guys, can determine what kind of vessel we are for God.

God made me special and has a special plan for my life (Psalm 139:13-16). God loves me so much he sent Jesus to die for my sins (Romans 5:8). He wants me to live a pure life. I need to build my relationship with Christ day by day. This will help me keep my purity and keep me from desperately grasping for any guy who will be my boyfriend.

Sharing my Heart: Different Ways to Date

When I was a teenager, Christian leaders basically said, “You should date a lot so you can figure out what kind of person you want to marry.” I was not really in a position to date because there weren’t many Christian guys in my circles. Even in Bible college a lot of the guys all decided to date a few popular girls. If you never dated you felt like a real loser.

Today Christian young people and singles have more choices. We talked about marriages in the Bible (Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, common biblical marriage patterns). Then we talked about contemporary dating: common dating, Christian dating, arranged marriages, courtship, and making up your dating model.

Then we talked about some good principles with whatever model you choose.

  • Build your relationship with Christ first.
  • Bring wise counsellors into your relationship.
  • Don’t start too young or get too serious or too physical too fast.
  • Start by becoming good friends. Don’t confuse love with hormones.

Guarding My Heart: Tips to Protecting Your Purity

Sometimes Christian teens want to remain pure, but it seems nearly impossible. We began with some of the lies Satan tells:

  • God is keeping something good from you. (Really he’s protecting us from hurting our relationship with him, getting STD’s, having our hearts broken from someone who isn’t committed to us, from pregnancy and abortion.)
  • Virgins are losers who can’t get a guy to like them.
  • As long as you don’t “go all the way” you can do whatever you want before marriage.
  • Saving yourself for marriage worked long ago, but no one does it today.
  • Today it’s impossible to save yourself for marriage.

While it can be hard to keep yourself pure, these tips make it much easier.

  • Make a promise to God to keep yourself pure and live for him.
  • Replace wrong thinking with right thinking. Keep your mind pure.
  • Dress modestly.
  • In a relationship with a guy, stay public, stay vertical, decide how far you will go in advance. (This comes from And the Bride Wore White by Dannah Gresh.)
  • Build your relationship with Christ.
  • Make yourself accountable to someone you trust.

Giving My Heart Away: Looking Ahead

Love is blind. When we’re in love, we feel like we are thinking clearly. The media says: Follow your heart. Sounds good, but what this usually means is: Follow your hormones. Rely on your emotions. Gary Chapman calls this period the “in-love obsession” and says it lasts about two years.

Young girls need to look ahead and think about what they really want in the one they want to marry. Some things, like being athletic or good looking, may be whims or preferences. But they need to think about the things that are most important to them. They should avoid dating anyone who doesn’t have these things. Once they start dating and that guy makes them feel special, it will be hard to think objectively about him. We’ll talk about the qualities of a guy who will be a loving spiritual leader.

I found my girls eager to talk about these things and agreeable to what I said. But I sense they need to talk about these things, with a Christian teacher as well as Christian peers. I believe it helps them to voice the desire and necessity for purity with others who will support them in that decision. It’s not easy to go against the flow every day. We need to challenge unbelievers and support Christian teens. Do the guys need this too? Certainly, but this time I’m working with girls.

Resources:

Dannah Gresh’s book

Free printable Vows of Purity for guys and girls

Purity jewelry

My Art Spotlight Mysteries shows a fictional example of a couple dating carefully, with an eye on purity. There are some careful kisses before marriage and a mention of “thinking like a married man” that points to the marriage being consummated. Purity, different methods of dating, and relationships are clearly mentioned in the second and third book. In book one they just get to know each other.

 

 

 

Making a Positive Impact on Others


Did you ever leave church or a social gathering more discouraged than when you came? Maybe the majority of your conversations were largely negative. Sometimes our conversations just get in a negative rut and it’s hard to reverse and go in a better direction.

What can you do? Everyone has problems and needs a listening ear. You want to show concern, even when you can’t solve their problems. There’s a time to weep with those who weep. But we also want to make most of our conversations uplifting.

Today’s world is a desert thirsty for encouragement. If you are in ministry you have a constant need to connect with people, sometimes the same one over and over. We often talk about the weather, which may not be pleasant at the time, or ask how the person is, which may not be pleasant either. Then how can we steer the conversation in a positive direction?

Negative Subjects

The biggest enemy of positive conversation is negative subjects. Yes, we need to take a stand against the evils of the world, but sometimes these negative subjects dominate our conversations. It’s hard to have uplifting conversation about abortion, gun control, political leaders we don’t like, immorality in the world today, unemployment, or high prices. We may need to talk about these things sometimes, but we need to balance them with the positive aspects of life if we want to encourage ourselves and others.

Preparing Yourself for Positive Impact

Matthew 15:18 says, “Those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart.” (NKJV) So if I have a positive heart, I will say positive words that will encourage everyone around me. What positive things can I think and talk about to balance out all the negatives of life? Here are some ideas:

1. What new thing can I thank God for today?

2. What small success can I celebrate in my life or the lives of others?

3. What everyday thing have I been overlooking that could bring me joy?

4. Have I found something in a book or blog recently that has encouraged me?

5. What nice things have other people done for me recently?

6. What advantages do I have that make my life easier than life 30 years ago?

7. Who could I call that I haven’t talked to for a while?

8. Was I expecting some bad thing to happen that turned out better than I thought?

9. What’s one nice memory I haven’t thought about for a while?

10. What ordinary people do I have in my life who bring me joy every day?

As we think about answers to these questions this week, we can become positive people who are ready to make a positive impact on a negative world.